This blog is by Tarmo Virki at Nokia Solutions and Networks.
Every December, all mothers and fathers of young children have to find answers to the burning question – how on earth can Santa visit all the children of the world in just one night?
One Santa, one evening, billions of homes – Mission Impossible?
Math cannot explain it – for each household with eager children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, zip back up the chimney, hop back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. This means that Santa’s sleigh moves at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound.*
Our investigative team decided to head North to visit Santa’s HQ to learn more. After weeks of hard work, tapping the sources in and out of Santa’s Village, letting them speak off the record and off-off the record, we were able to find a whistle-blower who explained it all to a professional audience on the condition of anonymity. If there are any children among our readers, you should stop reading now. Seriously.
“As even your engineers have repeatedly told you, the equation is impossible. One man cannot achieve this due to the laws of physics. You know they apply, even for Santa. At speeds like that, Santa would just disappear into the cosmos in a twinkle of an eye,” said a small person wearing an unusual hat, a tear welling up in his own eye at the mere thought.
“To solve this mystical challenge, we have had to rely on augmenting reality for years. So yes, there is just one Santa, and yes, here he sits in all his robust glory for all children of the world to see – projected live around the globe,” the person said.
The Christmas broadcast is by far the largest annual live show out there – with an audience comparable to the world football championships, which reach up to 1 billion viewers. To relay the picture around the globe, Santa’s HQ has to work in circumstances unthinkable for most broadcasters. There’s no make-up, no broadcasting trucks, no official satellite time.
“To ensure proper coverage, we’ve had to rely on mobile from early on. But now it’s feels like a stroll down candy cane lane with these little multimedia computers and their connections, which are faster than the broadband we get to our village. We just plug a camera with TD-LTE connection to Santa’s sleigh and let the magic happen,” the elfin-like person said with a sly grin. “I get a headache every time I think about what we were doing just 10 years ago – trying to project real-life 3D Santa over an EDGE connection. Now if we could only do something about getting Santa on 5G…”
Who knew that mobile broadband would play such a key role in keeping the magic of Santa alive. Season’s greetings, dear readers!
A Scientific Disproof of the Santa Theory, and a couple of Rebuttals Thereto.
Original source: firstname.lastname@example.org (The Human Neutrino aka Linda Harden)
Original Title: IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?
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